Hey there, fans. Sorry I haven't blogged in a while, but school can be quite tyrannous, as can the allure of the Wii and Minecraft. And sorry I haven't done a Colin Show in a bit, but I use an 8 gigabyte iPod, and I don't have enough space on it for iMovie anymore. But not to worry, I've got something extra-special today. I give you: Colin's Guide to Outwitting your Parents!(Results may vary.) If you're a kid, these are some major tips. and if you're an adult, well... I don't know.
Tip 1: If you're doing something you shouldn't, and you have a cover story, and they get suspicious, bring attention to another issue related to your cover. They'll forget about you and your cover will seem much more genuine.
Tip 2: Parents will notice if a part of something is missing, because the rest of it is there to remind them. Believe it or not, if you take the rest of it, there's a much lower chance of them noticing, because you can't see what's not there.
Tip 3: Believe it or not, your parents probably don't know that much more about parenting than you do, aside from those smarmy parenting books written by oh-so-entitled parents who got through it once and think they're telepathic with kids or something. The point is, they are most likely trying to wing it, and they're pretty open to suggestion.
Tip 4: Remember, as Bill Watterson once said, if you do a job bad enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again.
I’m a big Calvin & Hobbes fan.
Tip 5: If you say that something's educational, it monumentally increases the chances of them going along with it.
Tip 6: They can't blame you for what they aren't there to see.
Tip 7: They can punish you, but they can't punish the dog.
Tip 8: Kids are usually better with technology than their parents. You can use this advantage as a bargaining chip or something. Because they will need you as tech support. They can try to threaten you, but in that situation, you have the power. They punish you and they lose your assistance.
Tip 9: Kids are always more clever than their parents think. Use this to your advantage! Let them think they've won, and then... Bam!
Tip 10: Take my word for this. Saying, "The pie just jumped off by itself," will never work.