The Rooster Episode

From 2002 to 2005, my family lived in Peru, a third-world South American country. My dad's work required travel, and we weren't about to be left behind. One day, for whatever reason, they decided to hand out baby chicks at my preschool. Obviously, the animal ownership laws were a little different there. Now,  normally I might think about just taking one of these home, but when a four-year-old is holding a baby chick in their hands, it pretty much crowds out all other thought.

Naturally, I decided to adopt it, and name it-- of all things-- Donald DUCK. Apparently my grasp of the animal world was so flawed that I could not tell a duck from a freaking chicken.
Anyhow, I expected it to grow up to be a hen, I guess because I thought that roosters were immortal and didn't come from eggs or something. Behold, the prodigious mind of a four-year-old. Unfortunately, against my wishes, it grew up to be a rooster. Quite an aggressive chicken, too. I know this because every time I came into the backyard, it chased me around pecking me like a rabid maniac.

And not only that, but it CROWED. Ohhhhh, how it crowed. Every day, as soon as a sliver of light hit his cage, everyone in every part of the house would be instantly awoken by a cackling scream. This pretty much got us annoyed and grumpy for the rest of the day. Eventually, we had to cover its cage so he wouldn't see the sunlight. 

Eventually, when our gardener was on the verge of quitting, Donald Duck the rooster became too much for us to handle, and we gave him to a farm, where he lived happily, with three wives, for the rest of his life. If you listen really hard, you can still hear his maniacal cock-a-doodle-doo at five and then my dad loudly cursing.